Saw: The Video Game (2009)

Saw is a franchise that by now has 6 movies out of a possible 9, and according to most film reviewers the series hasn't really been that good since the second one. Quite frankly, I beleive the series could (and probably should) have ended with the fourth or fifth one - seriously, by the next movie, SAW WILL HAVE MORE MOVIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER ISN'T IN IT THAN WHEN HE IS. That's signs of a franchise going out of control, right there, which is a shame because I think that Jigsaw (Tobin Bell, who thankfully reprises his role here) is one of the best and most original horror characters ever coneived, and who is now about as well known in horror as giants like Mike Myers, Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorthees, and the same thing happened to them: their film series all went on way, way too long.

However, I'm surprised that a Saw game hasn't been made already. I would have thought the idea of a terminally ill man punishing people in a disturbing game to make them enjoy life would have been perfect game material. To play as a person who has no idea why they're here, except that they've done horrible things and they are set to be punished? That could be great, it could be edge of your seat, terrifying stuff. It could have changed the horror genre, or, at least, did something a little different like the first two films did.

Unfortunatly, that makes it all the more depressing that Saw: The Video Game is a turd. It's a dud. A flat, non-scary, repetitive irritating dud. It cost me exactly £0.00 to play it and yet I want every penny of my money back. I couldn't even finish it it was so fiddly, so dishevelled, ugly and pointless. The traps are fiddly, the devices are REALLY irritating and generally, the game feels like it's trying too hard to be something different and ends up falling flat on its back when it could have done so much more.

You play as Detective Tapp who you may remember as Danny Glover from the first film, who here is not Danny Glover and who is also apparently a dick. He got his partner killed and now Jigsaw wants him to play his game to try and make Tapp overcome his obsession with him. At this point I'm not sure who to root for - Jigsaw does make a better point than Tapp however, and it says something when the bad guy is actually 'better' than your character, and you end up wanting Jigsaw to succeed but that might be the part of me that wanted Vader to crash the Death Star onto Yavin and then throw a wild party, instead of, you know, Luke actually saving the galaxy.

It doesn't help that every character has about as much depth and characterization as a grain of sand and that I couldn't give a crap what happens to Detective Tapp in the end, which is a bad thing considering I don't neccesarily have to care for my character but I should want my playable character to FUCKING SUCCEED. Reading the ending of the plot on Wikipedia it seems that another kick in the balls is delivered with the ending that I guess could be a nice twist but probably ends up being completely pointless and inept before some bastard you just saved from certain death calling you a dick and claiming it's all your fault.

The combat also sucks harder than most games, and Tapp is so sluggish that for every one hit, you'll be hit around by your enemy three times. And when your enemy has a nail bat or a knife, three hits is too many and you end up dead and restarting the level again.

I may be missing the point but the game isn't even that scary, not even from a blood and guts perspective especially compared to games like Dead Space, which leads me to ask what was the whole point of the game in the first place? Oh wait, I know - piggybacking onto a franchise that fans will buy anything related to it and regard it well, no matter how inept it is. Let me ask you this: Who genuinly cares about Saw? Who cares about the storyline? I'm almost certain that 85% of the people who watch the films and have this really don't care what happens to the crooked cops or Bell's estranged wife - they just want to watch people to mutilated and generally receieve the most brutal treatment possible, which could be replaced by any other film series, like, oh, I don't know, the new Nightmare on Elm Street film?

Overall: The graphics are so dark it's impossible to differentiate most things from most other things, the combat sucks, the characters are shallow and unlikeable, with the exception of Tobin Bell the voice acting sucks, it's repetitive, the mini games are too fiddly to be effective, it's not that scary, it's repetitive, it doesn't live up to its potential, it's generally irritating and of course, it's repetitive. Stay way, way clear, as the poor gameplay and pointlessness of it all is a more effective torture weapon than anything in this game.

3/10.